I do not want to be controlled but on the other hand I want to be accepted and approved by others
If I say "no" I'm sure they will think I’m are a bad person
To appear unable or passive can sometimes hide the tendency to want to avoid responsibility or to control or punish others : accepting tasks that one would not want to play then compromising in any way the performance can hide hostility and anger.
A passive behavior in the person and not assertive implies a marked disposition to evade the demands of others and the rules even when he explicitly " promised " to follow or conform to these. one can get up to extreme cases where such behavior becomes generalized to all or almost all relational contexts, then it is possible that the person will not find other defense than go away in order to not feel " forced" to be or do anything that does not want to. These strategies, however, are implemented in a completely passive way, without any way to take responsibility for: excuses, white lies are the modalities of the person who is opposed to passively avoid punishment, exclusion or excessively undermine its image. Escape from the demands of others is in fact seen as something wrong, inappropriate or useless and this belief is supported by the idea that one would not be able to cope with an adverse opinion due to having to say "no."
The basic assumption is that openly express desires and aversions would be uneuseful, unjust and counterproductiv; result: the person does not know / cannot say "no" painfully swinging between psychological subjection to others, and implementation of real and their boycotts and passive opposition to others. Such an attitude is often present in the passive-aggressive personality disorder and dependent personality disorder but can also be the ideal substrate for developing disorders such as obsessive- compulsive disorder, conduct disorder food, substance use disorder.
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